Top critical review
FATNESS Tracker? An Easy Mistake to Make...
5 November 2018
I bought this as a gift for my once-beautiful wife.
Since our marriage she has piled on the pounds and seems to get fatter and fatter by the day.
A while back I noticed that she actually has not one, but THREE chins, which is far too many, in my opinion.
I was drowning my sorrows one night by drinking whisky. I didn't want to go to bed because she was there, like a beached whale, snoring and farting like a burst tractor tyre. I had another whisky and then started to look on Amazon for something to help my situation.
In my drunken stupor I saw a "Fatness Tracker", and bought it there and then on impulse. Of course it was a "Fitness Tracker", but I had read it wrong thanks to finishing a bottle of Royal Stag on an empty stomach... because she had eaten my dinner!
When the "Fatness Tracker" arrived I was quite disappointed, but then I realised that I could put it to good use after all.
The strap is quite long, and it fits tightly around her fat wrist, which is the size of a normal person's leg.
I set up all the functions and now I can see that she walks about 300 steps a day - mostly from the chair to the fridge.
Unfortunately, there is no "Exercise Setting" for eating cake, samosas, or biriyani, or she'd be the world champion.
It does measure HER sleep - which is about 10 hours a night - but it doesn't measure mine which is constantly interrupted by her incessant snoring. Sometimes it sounds like a machine gun being fired the the bedroom, it's so bad!
It wasn't what I had hoped for, but it was a good price, so I can't complain.