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How to Kill a Narcissist: Debunking the Myth of Narcissism and Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse Paperback – 18 Aug 2016
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More than a year after leaving I knew I was still not fully healed so I kept reading book after book on narcissism. It wasn’t until I read Simon’s book that I realized what was missing from the others: Instructions on how to rebuild yourself. An understanding of how a sense of self and boundaries come about in the first place.
This was the only narcissism book I’ve read that gave me hope. After a lifetime of psychological abuse I can hardly express how surprised I was to feel that. In the middle of reading it, I felt a longtime queasy knot in my stomach come undone. I don’t know what to say about the title other than to please look past it because it doesn’t reflect what’s inside.
Here are my recommendations to heal long-term abuse:
How to Kill a Narcissist by JH Simon
Honoring the Self by Nathaniel Branden
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk
I wish everyone well.
However, I really didn’t have any understanding of narcissism. All I knew is that I just wanted this person to love me back and she wouldn’t. Over time my confidence was shot, I became socially inept, and my feelings of self-worth were almost completely depleted.
By the way, I was a college athlete, I’ve started and built four technology companies, run marathons... One would think that I would be a super self-assured person. But, never underestimate the power of the narcissist. Especially if you marry one.
Over the past six months I’ve been slowly understanding my past relationship by reading a lot of books, watching hours of YouTube videos, and visiting websites about narcissism.
This book had been the best resource I’ve found. The author doesn’t dwell on the characteristics of narcissism but he zeros in on the hows and whys a narcissist effectively controls and destroys their target.
More importantly, this book is all about explaining why some of us are such fruitful sources of narcissistic supply.
It then does a great job of waking you up to the fact that the target also plays a role in the toxic relationship. The writer then clearly explains what you have to do to heal and build boundaries for yourself to ensure you never fall into another relationship with this horrible type of person again.
Bottom line - if you don’t indentify and address your codependent traits you will never be happy and it’s likely you’ll attract another predator.
If you are in the process of recovering from narcissistic abuse I highly recommend this book.