- Hardcover: 816 pages
- Publisher: Galahad Books (1 April 2004)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1578660394
- ISBN-13: 978-1578660391
- Product Dimensions: 17.8 x 3.8 x 24.8 cm
- Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #6,09,056 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Dale Carnegie's Lifetime Plan for Success: How to Win Friends & Influence People : How to Stop Worrying & Start Living Hardcover – Import, 1 Apr 2004
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Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
So anywho...Carnegie surprised me on 2 fronts:
1) His assessment of human nature is as dark as they come. We are selfish, self-involved, egotistical, deluded about their motives, etc. You can argue your points with people until the sun goes dark and it won't change their mind. We live by our gut and then stupidly call our gut our reason. We do what we want and then make excuses about how it was the right thing to do, even if it landed us in jail or divorce court or just being unfriended on Facebook.
2) Carnegie does not use the usual self-help "REALIZE YOUR AWESOMENESS" mantra that people like Tony Robbins do. There is no Giant within, in other words. We're all mortal beings here biding our time until we shuffle of this mortal coil, and we would do well to learn how to get along so we can get (...and here's the reason we all read the books, right?) what we want. What we want from friends, neighbors, colleagues, parents, children, mates... And what do we want? Attention, respect, companionship, business, love. I loved how Carnegie made the steps simple to understand and follow without mumbo-jumbo and woo-woo.
It was these themes that make the books really work for me and man, has it helped. My book is so marked up with pencil you'd think I was the copywriter, but it's only because there are gems on every page. My problem has never been that I'm a shrinking violet -- it's been that I can be an ass because I'm naturally bossy and argumentative (I'm a big sister -- I can't help it!), and these books have reined me in to the point that I find people saying how NICE I am and showing an interest in getting to know me rather than trying to get away from my grouchiness. I also feel better when I put the behaviors into practice because they put people at ease and feel pretty good themselves. One lady at a book club asked me if I were Mormon because I was so friendly. The books are that good, people.
As I read this book, I find myself doing everything wrong. The first chapter starts off telling readers not to criticize other people's faults because it will incur resentment. Dale Carnegie quoted Lincoln, "Don't criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances." We have our own faults. Dale encourages us to regulate and improve ourselves first before regulating others.
I have read the entire book once, and I admit I haven't truly learned how to "succeed" because old habits are hard to change. In the intro, Dale even admitted that he himself find it hard to follow his own suggestions sometimes. He encouraged readers to review the book often, because the only way to learn is to actively engage in the activity. Reading without doing is not learning.
I wished I have read this book when I was in my teens. I wished my parents have read this book. In fact, I bought the Chinese translated version of this for them hoping they can improve their lives. But they weren't interested in the book. As the book says, it's easier to change oneself than to change others.
So if you are wondering how come you do not have a successful career, buy this book for the answer. Whatever you do, do not buy it for someone else.
When I first read this book as a teen it changed my perspective. Reading through it as an adult, I did not realize how much of this guidance became a part of me. I was not aware of how much this changed my life view. I am glad to get this in hard cover and be able to share it with my daughter. The lessons still are true today and really hold up.