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The Art of Gathering Paperback – 16 May 2019
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Being deprived of social gatherings revealed just how important they are; to connect with others, collaborate, share ideas and create moving, life-affirming experiences.
___________________________
If there's one thing lockdown showed us, it's that time together is a gift we've too often taken for granted.
In The Art of Gathering, Priya Parker shows us how to ensure that however we meet, it's a truly transformative experience. An expert on organizing successful gatherings whether in conference centres, crisis zones or her living room, Parker sets forth a human-centred approach to gathering that can help us create meaningful, memorable moments - large and small, for work and play.
The result is a book full of exciting real-world ideas that will forever alter the way you look at your next business meeting, dinner party and garden barbecue.
___________________________
'Hosts of all kinds, this is a must-read!' Chris Anderson, creator of TED
'Priya Parker has created both an art and a science to gathering in ways that can bring joy and fulfilment to any meeting' Deepak Chopra
'A long overdue and urgent manifesto' Seth Godin, New York Times bestselling author of This is Marketing
- Print length320 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherPenguin Books Ltd
- Publication date16 May 2019
- Dimensions12.9 x 1.9 x 19.8 cm
- ISBN-100241973848
- ISBN-13978-0241973844
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Review
[A] fantastic book . . . . Good things happen when people connect. Especially when we follow Priya's sage advice ― Forbes
Enthusiastically delivered formulas for better get-togethers... useful to those whose job it is to plan meetings, conferences, and the like and a worthy survival manual for consumers of the same ― Kirkus Reviews
This clear and engaging book sets down many things you thought you knew, until you find yourself remembering that you did not attend to its simple rules at the last significant event you hosted.... A passion for successful encounters enlivens every page -- Sherry Turkle ― author of Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age and Alone Together
A brilliant and eminently practical guide! The Art of Gathering will open your eyes to just how often we gather - and how we can turn those mundane events into dazzling opportunities for meaning, dreaming, and doing. This book should be mandatory reading for everyone from the business executive to the community activist, the conflict resolution specialist to the dinner host. Concrete advice that will forever change the way you gather -- Daniel L. Shapiro ― founder of the Harvard International Negotiation Program and author of Negotiating the Nonnegotiable
About the Author
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Product details
- Publisher : Penguin Books Ltd (16 May 2019)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 320 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0241973848
- ISBN-13 : 978-0241973844
- Item Weight : 223 g
- Dimensions : 12.9 x 1.9 x 19.8 cm
- Country of Origin : India
- Generic Name : BOOK
- Best Sellers Rank: #21,259 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #9 in Communication Reference
- #80 in International Relations & Globalization
- #100 in Self-Help for the Workplace
- Customer Reviews:
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Here are three of my favorite takeaways from the book:
1. Get really clear why you are gathering.
Parker believes “Gathering, the conscious bringing together of a group of people for a reason – shapes the way we think, feel and make sense of our world.” She challenges us to think deeply about why we are gathering - to be really conscious and consequent about it. She asks "What do you want to be different because you have gathered?
Clarity of purpose is more than an inspiring concept according to Parker; it’s a tool that helps you make decisions about every aspect of the gathering. If you haven’t a clear purpose” Parker advises “Do a casual hangout, or give people their valuable time back.”
2. Practice “Generous Exclusion”
How often are our meetings or social gatherings hijacked by politeness, by feeling uncomfortable leaving someone out? She asks the question “Who, despite being irrelevant to the purpose do you feel obliged to invite?”
Parker argues generous exclusion is a “way of bounding a gathering that allows the diversity to be heightened and sharpened rather than diluted in a hodgepodge of people”
3. Exercise Generous Authority
“A gathering run on generous authority is run with a strong confident hand, but is run selflessly for the sake of others.”
Parker argues that when we host a gathering we have the responsibility to “protect our guests, equalise our guests, and connect our guests.” Failing to exercise authority (often because we may not want to be seen to be pushy) is to Parker an abdication of our responsibility as host, and far too often impedes the achievement of the stated purpose.

The first, and possibly most important, point needs to be considered well before any people arrive: what is the purpose of the gathering? Why is it happening, and what is the desired outcome? Often we think we know the purpose, but we may just be going with the flow (we always have a standup meeting on Mondays), or confusing two conflicting purposes (the example of a funeral is memorable: is it to mourn a passing, or celebrate a life? The answer will change the whole form of the gathering.)
Knowing the purpose helps you design the event. Design is less about the logistics (catering, etc) than the people, the setting, the structure of the event. So caterers and similar planners are not the right people to organise your meeting (although they may well be a necessary component). From starting with a powerful opening, through being an active host, to finishing strongly, the advice for a good gathering is somewhat like the advice for a good presentation, writ large.
Parker illustrates the advice with many anecdotes. Not all our gatherings are as high power or as high consequence as some of the example here, but they certainly make for memorable advice. I will probably try some of the ideas for the next technical meeting I host, and see what difference they make.

Parker is inclined (in my view) to overemphasise the deeper astral meanings of her man gatherings - perhaps I'm a bit too British and cynical for that, but there's enough solid material in here - astral or otherwise - for that not to really matter.
Olly Buxton

As someone who loves to organise events - to “gather” people - this was a very interesting and eye-opening read on how to be very intentional about this act.
Everything from the concept of the gathering to the naming, the opening and the closing is considered and discussed in detail with great examples from the many stories Parker has to tell from her own life.
This is one of those books you put into practice straightaway and refer to time and time again.
Highly recommended for anyone who has ever organised (or plans to organise) any kind of gathering.

Christine Brown-Quinn
Author, Amazon #1 Best Seller Unlock Your Career Success