- Hardcover: 272 pages
- Publisher: St. Martin's Press (14 May 2013)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 023034190X
- ISBN-13: 978-0230341906
- Product Dimensions: 16.3 x 2.6 x 24.1 cm
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #6,34,813 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Work with Me: The 8 Blind Spots Between Men and Women in Business Hardcover – Import, 14 May 2013
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“In this must-read, Annis and Gray examine how and why men and women think differently at work, and what we can do about it... Pragmatic and timely, Work with Me promises to be a game changer!” ―Publishers Weekly (starred review)
“Work With Me is a lucid, evidence-based guide for a comprehensive and immensely useful understanding of the unique, sex-specific features of the human brain. Barbara Annis, an articulate and intelligent advisor to corporations, has taught us how to meld the talents of men and women into an effective whole. She collaborates with John Gray, who was the first to engage the public in understanding the differences between the way we think, plan, and communicate. The book exemplifies the fact that gender-specific science is not an emotion-laden pursuit, but an ever-expanding, evidence-based exposition of the extraordinary--and for the most part completely unexpected sex specific features of the human brain. This ought to be obligatory reading for every person who wants to fashion and maintain productive relationships.” ―Marianne J. Legato, M.D., F.A.C.P, Professor of Clinical Medicine, Columbia University, Founder, Foundation for Gender-Specific Medicine, Inc.
“Work with Me is a landmark work that examines today's workplace opportunities and challenges through both an economic and social interaction lens and demonstrates why gender intelligence - not gender equality - will inspire a culture of inclusiveness and create a sustainable source of economic advantage for, individuals, leaders, and their organizations.” ―Lara Warner, Chief Financial Officer, Credit Suisse Investment Bank
“No doubt about it. Group intelligence is highest when both genders problem solve together. Now Barbara Annis and John Gray show us how to get the job done! If this book doesn't make you think, you are brain dead!” ―Dr Wendy Walsh, Human Behavior Expert, CNN and The O'Reilly Factor
“It's time to get smart about Gender Intelligence. If anyone on Earth – or Venus or Mars – can sort out these complex relationships, John Gray and Barbara Annis can. "Work" your way through this remarkable book!” ―Harvey Mackay, #1 New York Times bestselling author of "Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive."
“I firmly believe that for all high performers, the end goal is the same: to work and communicate as effectively and successfully as possible. This insightful and well-researched book shares valuable guidance for executives and employees at all levels, all of whom face challenges with different styles, expectations and approaches. Work with Me is an engaging and impactful read for men and women alike.” ―Janet Wood, EVP Global Strategic Service Partners, SAP
“As a boss myself, working alongside my business partner and husband for the past 35 years, this book would have helped us so many years ago to avoid the misunderstandings and hurt feelings that took so much time away from the real object, which was creating success together and utilizing our combined strengths. Work with Me clarifies our gender differences and gives the tools for successful collaboration.” ―Suzanne Somers, Actress, author
“It seems that most books written on gender relations implore women to act more like men and deplore men for acting like themselves. Men and women want to find ways to work and succeed together, and to do so by being their authentic selves. Work with Me shows us how, with equal learning for women and men. It is refreshingly non-judgemental - neither gender is to be blamed or "fixed". Annis and Gray reveal that gender differences are not weaknesses but strengths that are often misunderstood and undervalued by both genders. Work with Me is an enjoyable and enlightening read, filled with practical information supported by empirical data, scientific explanations, and dozens of anecdotes that skilfully and warmly reflect gender interactions in our professional and personal lives.” ―Valerie Sorbie, Chief Administrative Officer, BMO Capital Markets
“Work with Me is the perfect blend of Annis' cutting-edge research and insights into the minds of men and women at work, and Gray's enduring contribution to our understanding of male-female personal relations. Together, Annis and Gray provide the perfect relational guide for men and women looking for happiness and success through greater understanding as colleagues, partners, and parents.” ―Jack Canfield, author and co-creator of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series
“What a concept! Men being men and women being women. It's about time we put to rest the failed notion that we are all the same. Annis and Gray introduce an entirely new way to think and talk about gender equality in the 21st century. Work with Me is a perfect blend of work-life and personal-life messages. No other book tackles the issue of men and women working and winning together.” ―Raymond Aaron, New York Times bestselling author of "Double Your Income Doing What You Love."
“Annis and Gray bravely reveal the blind spots that perpetually prevent men and women from understanding and appreciating their gender differences, not hiding or suppressing their authentic natures, and as a result, finding greater success and happiness in their professional and personal lives.” ―Dr. Fabrizio Mancini, bestselling author of "The Power of Self-Healing"
“'Work with Me is the definitive relational guide for the workplace, bringing insights and solutions to help both men and women eliminate their gender blind spots, powerfully complement each other's natural strengths and efforts, and together achieve extraordinary levels of performance.” ―George H. Labovitz, Ph.D., Founder and CEO of Organizational Dynamics, Inc.
“Annis and Gray confront, head on, the elephant in the room. Men and women are not the same, are quite different, and actually complement each other perfectly. It's about time we begin to understand, appreciate, and value each other's ways of thinking and acting. Work with Me bravely illuminates the path to greater understanding.” ―Jane Allen, Chief Diversity Officer, Deloitte Canada
“We all know in our hearts and minds that men and women are different. We see it in the natural behavior of children. The reality--and beauty--is that the authentic person within is the perfect counterpart of the other. Work with Me opens our hearts and minds to that genuineness. This valuable book will unsurprisingly make an uplifting difference in your personal life and perhaps surprisingly a significant financial difference in your business life - highly recommended.” ―Stewart Emery, bestselling author, speaker, and teacher
“It's not out of our reach or idealistic to think that men and women, seeing the world through each other's eyes and valuing each other's line of sight, can make the world a better place. Work with Me is a sensational book filled with absolutely marvelous insights into the thought and actions of men and women. This book will certainly enrich and impact many lives.” ―Tony and Randi Escobar, founders of the Share IT Forward Academy
“Men and women are individually creations of wonder, yet when engaged in unison, a harmonic is achieved. Our whole is more than merely the sum of our parts. Work with Me is not about tolerating the other gender, modifying our behavior, or learning new behaviors. It is about understanding and appreciating the genuineness within each of us and embraces our differences.” ―Janet Bray Attwood, co-author of the New York Times bestseller, "The Passion Test: The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Life Purpose.
“I loved Work with Me--it is a vital read for anyone aspiring to lead and influence. Invisible to the offender (yet glaring to everyone else), gender blind-spots dangerously erode trust--THE critical foundation for unleashing performance and drawing out the best in every employee interaction and in every transaction--with all stakeholders. Who better to clear our vision on this murky subject than John Gray and Barbara Annis, whose authoritative insights span decades? What's your Gender Intelligence quotient? Can you afford not to know? Trust me, you can't. Read this book!” ―Greg Link, co-founder CoveyLink, co-author Smart Trust
“Based on decades of impeccable research and worldwide practice, Work with Me is without a doubt one of the single most important books of the year. The practical techniques offered within these pages outline powerful solutions for challenges arising from gender differences and allow men and women alike to succeed in creating more valuable, meaningful relationships by genuinely learning to understand and bridge their differences. To read this book is to invest in building better relationships throughout every area of your life.” ―Ivan Misner, Ph.D., NY Times Bestselling author and founder of BNI®
“Barbara Annis and John Gray team up to make a winning combination. Can every man and woman expect to work so well together? They can if they read Work with Me! With sensitivity, insight, and real-life examples, this book unlocks the secrets of successful mixed-gender workplaces, helping both men and women play to their strengths, and appreciate the strengths of the other.” ―Scott Haltzman, MD, psychiatrist and author of "The Secrets of Happily Married Men," and "The Secrets of Happily Married Women."
“Men and women are individually creations of wonder, and when engaged in unison, a symphony of greatness is achieved – an elevated sound from the blending of our notes. Our whole is more than merely the sum of our parts. It is not about tolerating the other gender, modifying our behavior, learning new behaviors, or learning to accommodate each other's differences. It is about understanding and appreciating the other gender, an inclusive mindset that respects, and actually seeks out and embraces our differences.” ―Graciela Meibar, Vice President Global Diversity, Mattel, Inc.
About the Author
Barbara Annis is a world-renowned expert on Gender Intelligence® and inclusive leadership, advocating the value and practice of Gender Intelligence in over 60 Fortune 500 companies, ten governments, and numerous organizations across the globe.
John Gray, PhD is the leading relationship expert in the world and bestselling relationship author of all time. His book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, is ranked by USA Today as one of the top ten most influential books over the last 25 years. His 17 books have been published in 50 different languages and he is a popular keynote speaker for international organizations and Fortune 500 companies. He is the founder of Mars Venus Coaching and has personally trained over 500 coaches in 27 countries to bridge the gender gap in business through gender smart leadership, sales, and team-building trainings.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
"Work With Me" is the timely and much needed book on how to work effectively with the opposite gender. The main purpose of this excellent book is to expose and eliminate our blind spots. The authors provide a new level of understanding called "gender intelligence" backed by exhaustive research, sound science and a pragmatic approach to reach solid conclusions. Accomplished authors, Barbara Annis and John Gray, collaborate on this enlightening book on gender relations and provide the public with much needed guidance on how women and men can work with each other, not by expecting to behave the same, but by complementing our differences. This fantastic 272-page book is composed of the following twelve chapters: 1. Are We Really the Same?, 2. Do Women Want Men to Change?, 3. Do Men Appreciate Women, 4. Are Women Being Excluded?, 5. Do Men Have to Walk on Eggshells with Women? 6. Do Women Ask Too Many Questions?, 7. Do Men Listen?, 8. Are Women Too Emotional?, 9. Are Men Insensitive?, 10. Building Trust with Women, Increasing Credibility with Men, 11. Bridging Our Different Values, and 12. Achieving Work-Personal Life Harmony.
1. Engaging, accessible prose on a timely and fascinating topic.
2. Fair and even-handed treatment of a sensitive topic.
3. Accomplished authors, Barbara Annis and John Gray have great command of the topic.
4. Excellent format that provides a clear path to effective communication. Each chapter includes "The Science Side" which focuses on our biological differences. It also includes "The Personal Side" which offers practical personal
5. The authors excel at clearly defining terms. "Gender intelligence recognizes that gender is a function of both nature and nurture - first informed by nature, then shaped by society and culture. Only by first understanding the nature of our differences can we then gain the insight into how to nurture, develop, and complement our differences, instead of denying and suppressing our own uniqueness and that of the other gender." Bravo!
6. Eye-opening gender facts interspersed throughout the book, "more girls have been killed in the last fifty years - particularly in China, India, and Pakistan - simply because they were girls than the number of men killed in all the wars of the twentieth century."
7. Persuasive arguments abound with sensible solutions. "The only solution to achieving a cultural shift in attitude and sustaining any semblance of gender balance and inclusiveness is by understanding what is actually going on in the minds of women and men at work."
8. The first part of the book is about the eight gender blind spots. The authors do a fantastic job of defining each blind spot with their own research which is immersed smoothly into business stories.
9. Clarity of thought. "The most cited reasons why women feel that men need to change are: " Not going to spoil it, but understand that the authors do a wonderful job throughout the book of stating clearly what the issues are and how they suggest to address them. They clearly show how gender differences manifest themselves at work. Great stuff.
10. The authors show the clear differences in how women and men approach work and how they want to be acknowledged. "Men and women commonly define and approach teamwork differently. Women generally have a much greater need to be a part of the team and regard teamwork as an opportunity to collaborate and communicate with others..."
11. Thought-provoking statements and plenty of aha moments. "The objectification of women is so deeply ingrained in our culture that it becomes difficult for many men to disengage from their learned behavior and equally value women in the workplace."
12. The gender differences on dealing with stress...aha. The challenges working with the other gender.
13. Interesting findings..."Women don't believe that men need to walk on eggshells around them. They wish that men didn't feel that way and are often surprised that it occurs to the degree that it does." "...men's tendency to feel uneasy and uncertain around women, even if it's occasional. Can negatively affect the professional and personal success of both genders."
14. The reasons why women ask more questions than men. "Women tend to explore all sides of an issue before making a final decision. By asking, `What do you think?' a woman is not necessarily seeking final thoughts or a solution, but is creating or sustaining a conversation, or strengthening a relationship."
15. The value of women in the financial industry. "Financial companies with several high-ranking women at either officer or director levels tend to have higher earnings per share, higher return on equity, and higher stock prices than competitors with few or no senior women".
16. Some findings stand out, "The one thing that women should realize about men is that it's the results that matter most to them - more than the challenges faced or the relationships made along the way."
17. The four value spectrums that most distinguish women from men: Improve versus Maintain, Together versus Independently, Journey versus Results, and Sharing versus Declaring.
18. The difference between female and male leaders. The leadership spectrum.
19. The issues of work-life, personal-life balance. The search for harmony. The book provides many insights into how gender blind spots affect the personal side of lives.
20. Understanding the greatest shifts in corporations today. "The hierarchal, heroic approach to leadership in the past will most likely yield to an ensemble leadership style over the next decade and become the dominant trait of the global leader in the years to come."
21. Links to Notes worked great.
1. The book is repetitive. The authors tend to hammer the same points to a fault. Some of it has to do with the fact that the "Science Side" concurs with what was found during interviews but the themes undeniably carry through the whole book.
2. The lack of name-recognition business examples that people can associate with. The IKEA case study was great, but the book lacked more examples of that ilk.
3. The book tends to focus on gender differences in black and white. In defense of the book it does mention in one of the latter "Science Side" that there are exceptions, but should it not be more like a spectrum? Shades of grey and what about gay employees? What does the research say about that?
4. The book's focus is strictly on gender differences in America but very little on other factors that may have an impact such as cultural differences. There was one example on Japanese culture, but few and far between. Perhaps an idea for a future book?
5. Always take behavioral sciences with a grain of salt and never fall in the trap of one size fits-all thinking. Furthermore, neuroscience is in its infancy and further progress in this field will yield more insights into our behaviors. Caution is warranted.
6. No formal bibliography.
In summary, a fantastic book on gender relations. The authors do a wonderful job of providing a better understanding of gender relations in the work environment. The authors based their book on their workshops, interviews and neuroscience which resulted in persuasive conclusions. Their fair and even-handed approach won me over. The book has its limitations; it focuses mainly on gender differences (very little on cultural differences), neuroscience is in its infancy, and one size does not fit all. That being said, I enjoyed the book and is deserving of 4.5 stars. I highly recommend it!
Further suggestions: "Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead" by Sheryl Sandberg, "Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" by "The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business" by Charles Duhigg, "Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell,and "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain.
This book has truly been an eye-opener to working with men and has taught basic theories on how to deal with some of the problems we can face at work. The concept of gender-intelligence is brilliant and very insightful.
Great book overall! Must read for young professional women and men entering the workplace.